Adopt a Pet or Die!

http://www.medpagetoday.com/Cardiology/Prevention/39028

Adopt a Pet or Die!

Now it’s scientifically proven that if you choose to adopt a pet (or more specifically a cute adorable pussy cat like myself) you are less likely to die of a heart attack. This presupposes that I don’t want you to die of a heart attack, which presupposes that your heart is dedicated to taking care of me and me alone and no other woman (ok, maybe, I’m taking this too personal). Anyway, the bottom line is that you should adopt a cute cuddly cat to care for and to love (everyday and every second), someone to dedicate your single insignificant life to (her amazing and wonderful 9 lives) OR…DIE!

So…here is a link to where you can SAVE YOUR HEART by HAVING ONE AND ADOPT A PET

http://www.adoptapet.com/public/pets-in-need.html

Love ya to Death (literally),

Angel

Cat Eyes on Michael Berryman and Bloody Tubs

As the world’s most notorious possessed pussycat, I FEEL LIKE ONE COOL CAT getting to work with horror icons. For episode 9, I got to add Michael Berryman to that list of guest stars who I’ve worked with on set that include Lee Meriwether; Nina Hartley; Barbara Nedeljakova, and Ashley C. Williams. You may know Michael Berryman from the cult classic horror film The Hills Have Eyes but I know him as the mysterious dude that popped up on my doorstep while I was trying to have a romantic dinner. Still – the host of guests that come into my life because Nick decided to do a web-series about me is pretty funny. But have no doubt…Michael Berryman’s face is going to look scarier than ever if I ever get my claws on him.

If you have no clue what I’m talking about check out Episode 9 “Blood Bath” from the world’s greatest comedy horror web-series Hell’s Kitty!

 

Love & Hate (two parts of the same paw),

Angel

9 Reasons I Cut Catwoman (A.K.A. Nick’s Grandma)

1)   She tried to put her filthy paws on me.

2)   To cut her out of the picture before she got too comfortable.

3)   Cause there’s only room for one hellcat in the house.

4)   She didn’t let me eat her cookie.

5)   I didn’t want her fleas.

6)   All’s fair in love and war.

7)   To prevent an even greater CATastrophe.

8)   I used to love her, but I had to cut her.

9)  Three’s a crowd.

Angel

Lee Meriwether guest stars in this exciting new episode of the hit comedy horror web-series “Hell’s Kitty.”

“Behind Closed Doors”

We never know truly what evil lurks behind a partially closed door. If you’re reading this blog it’s likely because you waited until the end credits and listened to my voice over, and decided that you wanted to know because you’re nosey like a bloodhound. Otherwise, you happened to just stumble upon this blog, in which case, don’t be a dumb as a dog, go back and watch episode 7, so you understand what I’m talking about.  You can see it here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=080gwnFPqe4

As for what’s behind the mysterious door, I’ll be dammed more than I already am if I go and spoil it for you. You will find out soon enough, when you watch Episode 8. So for now, I can tell you this, just because I’m in a good mood.

It’s one of five things:

1)  Cerberus the hellhound.

2)  A warning note.

3)  A bloody slipper.

4)  Lisa’s switchblade.

5)  Adam dressed like a burn victim.

So humor me and guess by leaving your comments. Whoever leaves a comment with the correct answer (provided you aren’t part of the Hell’s Kitty Crew) will be given an honorable meow meow mention on our Facebook page, and may receive a special gift from yours truly, if you don’t annoy me. So…guess well, my kitties. Until the next time…

P.S. Episode eight stars a very special guest who many of you will know as one of the original Cat Women.

Killer Regards,

 

Angel

 

“What I Think of Cheaters (AKA Lisa)”

Angel Hates Cheaters

1) I don’t think of CHEATERS, except when imaging what they’ll look like with my claws up their nostrils.

2) CHEATERS should die a miserable death, than have to live life again, just so that they can die ONCE MORE.

3) CHEATERS should be forced to walk on all fours in 110 degrees of desert heat until they puke up fur balls.

 4) Cheaters serve a purpose; they give us great pleasure when we tear their hearts out.

5) Cheaters cheat because they know if they played by the rules they’d lose miserably, so instead, they cheat and still lose because felines like me make sure of it.

6) Cheating NEVER PAYS but cheaters can GET PAID BACK PAINFULLY.

“Why I Dominate!”

I am puuurfect, full of poise and grace. If I fall I always land on my feet. I’ve got “real” claws ladies…so, put your fake nails away!  While most women have only one life to live…I’ve got NINE! I don’t need make-up, I can see in the dark…and even better yet…I’m supernatural. I’m not your average feline. I’ve got abilities you haven’t even begun to see yet. I’m in league with the forces of feline darkness. There’s not a woman in the world that can keep up with me. As soon as Nick realizes it he’ll be sorry for even wasting his time with other women! I’ll make it simple. Here’s my list:

6 Reasons…I Dominate

1) I always land on my feet. (ok, paws, but it’s the same thing)

2) I got real claws. (NOT fake nails)

3) I got eight extra lives (cats got nine to your one)

4) I don’t need make-up.

5) I can see in the dark.

6) I’m so super; I’m supernatural biotches!

Yours Truly,

Angel